primadonnas:

SO I GET HOME AND THERE’S THIS RANDOM KID ON MY COUCH AND HE’S LIKE ‘ALRIGHT MAN I DON’T WANNA HURT U JUST PUT UR STUFF DOWN AND GET ON THE GROUND I JUST WANT UR MONEY’ AND I FUCKIN ALMOST PUKED I WAS LIKE “OMG PLS NO I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY I’M ONLY 15” THEN HE WAS LIKE “NAH MAN I’M JUST FUCKIN WITH U I’M UR BROTHER’S FRIEND HE’S IN THE SHOWER I’M JUST WAITIN FOR HIM”

(via hotboyproblems)

• 10 yr old me: omg i can't wait to be a teenager i'll go out to parties with my friends and wear cool clothes and skip school and drink and play music really loud and get grounded and sneak out and stay up late and go to concerts and have an amazing social life omg i can't wait
• current me: spills cereal on self

• me: i'm just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes.
• me: wakes up march 27th, 2098.